DKITYTI: Radical Inquiry and The Way of Mastery

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Flower offering, Kayma Spa

You may be starting to wonder if I’m going to come across something I don’t enjoy in this series  – well here’s the first one.

It started badly with a gaze that lasted too long. You know the type. You say your hellos and then they proceed to look deep into your eyes, nodding their head slightly, perhaps with a little ‘hmmmm’, as if to acknowledge some inscrutable truth that’s been passed between you. I’m all up for eye contact, but the lingering’s a step too far.

Once past this initial awkwardness, I realized I had no idea what I was there to do. The flyer had promised everything from “a journey unveiling the deepest emotions” to an “alchemical process of self forgiveness”, but was vague in its approach. I had nothing to go on but a friend’s recommendation that this was “deep work well worth trying”.

Radical Inquiry

The healer, a fellow Brit with slow, deliberate speech, instructed me to lie down while she sat cross-legged beside me. She said all I had to do was breathe, the rest would come.

What followed was a simple guided meditation, not unlike other meditations I’ve done before, except it was interactive. She was the guide and I had to respond to her questions. What was coming up for me? How did it feel? Does it feel like this or that?

I found the entire thing excruciating.

Flower offering in Bali

The essential premise was this. I lay down in a state of relaxation and allowed any negative feelings to come up. The healer would ask what they were and then delve deeper, trying to uncover the layers beneath.  Towards the end I had to give sound to those feelings – an exercise in catharsis – and finally imagine the negativity’s opposite, and weigh up both in either hand. The moral of the story: you have choice when it comes to negative and positive thought patterns.

Had I connected with my healer on a personal/spiritual level, my experience may have been different. I can see the value of the meditation, and perhaps the interactive element adds value for some, but for me it felt forced and uncomfortable.

The search for feeling

“What do you feel now?” she inquired for the umpteenth time.

“Um, I guess insecure”

“Insecuuuuuuuure, you feel insecuuuuuuure. Insecuuuuuuuure. I wonder how that feels? I how does it feeeeeel?

“Erm, insecure”

“A feeling, give it a feeling.”

Isn’t insecure a feeling?, I thought

“Does it feel small? Is it heavy? Insecuuuuuuuuure”

I finally got the answer right with the word heavy, but not without a fair amount of fishing, and a hefty desire to say anything that might stop her slew of elongnated vowels.

Marigold offering with pink flowers

The whole experienced was littered with similar awkwardness. My healer would take my words, repeat them slowly, again and again, occasionally prompting for something more – images, situations, memories – or offering a summary of what had happened thus far.

Under the influence

As I understand it, one of the golden rules of psychotherapy is no leading questions. You can say “How did that feel?”, but never “Did that feel painful?’. Those rules weren’t followed here, leading me to question the authenticity of my responses.

Moreover, a psychotherapeutic relationship is based upon trust, often built up over weeks or months. Through that trust, the client starts to feel safe and is able to open up gradually. It’s sometimes hard to find someone you click with – I had to go through a few in London until I found one I could work with. I would have passed on this lady.

Pink and green flowers in Bali 2

At the end of the hour session, I asked her where she’d learnt this method. From The Way of Mastery, she replied, with the same lingering look I’d been greeted with. “It’s from the teachings of Jeshua and Mary Magdalene. Not from the Bible, of course. It’s all channeled information.” And with that I discovered that the ‘Radical Inquiry’ process I’d just been through was a technique supposedly channeled directly from Jesus himself. Sophia is a member of an Ashram in Ubud centered around a man named Jayem who has channeled books-worth of such information. I looked on their website when I got home and was left feeling uneasy by its messaging. It definitely wasn’t something I vibed with.

One silver lining

So there you have it, the first ‘Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it’ activity I haven’t enjoyed. In fact, the whole thing left me frustrated, which in itself was useful. I found myself wanting to drink coffee, eat junk food and indulge in wine – things that have their place but rarely when borne of frustration. It highlighted that pattern and gave me the chance to say no. For that I am thankful. But never, never again.

How about you? How d you think you’d have reacted? Ever been in a similar situation? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

19 thoughts on “DKITYTI: Radical Inquiry and The Way of Mastery”

  1. As a fellow healer and DKITYI enthusiast I probably would have thought “What a crock of shit!” Possibly this kind of treatment with a healer who actually has some insight and ability might shift something but it all sounds very vague and un-rooted to me. You just have to go with your gut feelings on these things and if you feel uncomfortable despite being there with an open mind and heart there is a reason for that…I’ve experienced it myself. There is an incongruent feeling, it simply does not feel authentic. The gazing intently thing happens spontaneously on BOTH sides when it’s a “for real” connection – like with me and the sound healer guy when we went for the music medicine at Yoga Barn. (Ah…remember!) It feels very natural, unforced and beautiful…not patronizing and fake! I have a hard time swallowing the whole channelled Jeshua and Mary M thing…by a guy in an ashram in Ubud surrounded by glazed-eyed followers? (I do admit that could well be down to my own issues around certain forms of guru worship!) If you are interested in reading what I believe are possibly indeed the channelled words of Jesus I would recommend you read “A Course in Miracles.” I think you would get far more out of that. As usual I am looking forward to hearing what you will be signing up for next!

    • Thanks Sophia. It did feel very cultish. Left me with a terrible taste in my mouth. I’ve tried quite a few things since so will keep the posts coming!

  2. I really love this series that you’re doing! And I totally think I would’ve reacted the same exact way. I would have been too polite to walk out half-way through, but sitting there would have been treacherous. And I honestly would’ve lost it when she said the method was something she learned through channeled teachings of Jesus.

    Keep up the great posts!

  3. I agree with Christina. I think it’s great that you’re doing this series, but this one sounds really unpleasant I also would not have walked out. Chanelling through Jesus sounds about as fake as you can get. I’m glad your integrity survived in one piece. x

  4. I’d like to say I would’ve walked out when it didn’t feel right but it’s most likely that I would have suffered through it despite my discomfort and that would’ve been the greatest disappointment for me – my willingness to compromise myself to keep from offending someone else. I’m working on that one!

  5. It’s disarming to become that vulnerable with someone, and even worse when you feel like your answers are either right or wrong! In a way it’s okay that you have had one negative experience. It makes the positive experiences that much more special.

    • I know! It was such an awkward experience. But yes, it’s been beneficial to have a bad experience (well the first of a few…)

  6. “…a hefty desire to say anything that might stop her slew of elongated vowels…” Oh I can just imagine the awkwardness! I would have reacted just as you did. Loving this series, Victoria! Yay for the next one!

      • hi–as you can see by my website address, I am connected with Way of Mastery, as a student of over 20 years–having said that, it sounds like you had a very uncomfortable time!! I write to merely share another perspective, and that is that I know a good deal about the work and the process of “radical inquiry”, and have practiced it myself both as recipient and “facilitator”–and found this way of spirituality (despite the very unusual claims of it’s source, Jesus etc., which took me AGES to accept) to be the most profound I have encountered of all the many I have tried in a search of over 30 years. Not trying to sell anything here, just sharing another point of view–that this is not at all cultish ( but rather actively seeks NOT to be), admits it is not for everyone, and has very beautiful teachings that offer the most intellectually comprehensive theology/philosophy/what have you of Love that I have ever seen, and also touches my heart in a profoundly deep way. Maybe you just found the wrong teacher–or she was having a bad day. If you want to talk, have a free session with me, just for research sake, I am open to it–and if not, open to that too !! Wishing you peace, Dave Schock

        • Thank you Dave. I appreciate that the Way of Mastery has been helpful for you and I’m sure other people have found it useful too. One of the things I learned during my ‘DKITYTI’ journey was that, quite simply, different things work for different people (and that sometimes it depends on the relationship between therapist/client). Thanks for the kind offer, but I have reached saturation point with DKITYTI! Yoga, meditation, cake, friends and being outside are my current path 🙂

          • hi–not sure why it took me a year and a half to see this! but appreciate your response–and especially how “cake” is an essential part of your path ! 🙂 Happy 2016 Dave Schock

  7. It is strange how some people, like the Sophia you describe, can take an overly familiar and intense approach. This sort of contact makes me feel like my personal space has been intruded upon without my consent. There seems there is no respect for the sensitive feelings of others. Sophia should have more respect for an individual’s protective aura..she sounds like an invader!

  8. Much relieved to come across this insightful commentary about that ashram in Ubud! The so called therapist Sopia is unethical & immoral. She took advantage of my partner when he was vulnerable. Her ‘therapy’ included sexual healing which was inappropriate. Our relationship has survived the trauma & abuse but I see she is still practising without any proper qualifications.

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